Compartmentalise to overcome the overwhelm of daily life

Q:
I had a request from a client who is going through a drawn-out stressful period marked by all kinds of disruptions and chaos. His sense of being overwhelmed by all of this and not achieving anything is getting worse. He asked:
- Are there any tips for building emotional strength?
- How does one actually compartmentalise? It sounds good, but can it be done?
A:
The main idea for coping with a long-term, chaotic and disruptive situation is to find more emotional strength by tackling the feelings of being overwhelmed by it all. It really helps to compartmentalise in order to create some structure in daily life to fall back on.
Follow these 7 steps, always paying attention to the purpose behind them.
Step 2: Make a large visual diary
Using a big piece of paper, map out an overview of your calendar for a fortnight or a month. Fill in confirmed plans and non-negotiable appointments, deadlines and dates and tape it to your wall or the back of your door as a constant helper in compartmentalising.
Step 3: Add your compartments to your calendar
Fill in time-blocks (not too long) for your other compartments. Start by using a kind of repeat pattern – as if you are building a jigsaw. See what fits where. It’s a great idea to use post-it notes. You can move them around until you arrive at an overview that looks do-able.
Laying out the jigsaw calendar is an attempt at creating a suitable – if possible, repetitive – pattern for a week or a month. If there is a certain routine, a rhythm to our actions, it kind of carries us onward by the force of routine.
If there are emergencies, obviously these overrule what you do on a given day; but the calendar will remind you that you have a safety blanket of structured life to which you can return.
Step 4: Leave some time slots blank
You need idle time between compartments. Use that time to do something physical between blocks of intellectual work. Do the dishes or have a cup of tea to clear the way for the next compartment.
The last thing to do is to approach this exercise with military discipline. Leave space between compartments to loaf around and do nothing. If you have a garden or nature around you, go outside for a bit of time. If not, do some breathing exercises.
Step 5: Start the day with a healthy activity
Walking, running, some outdoor yoga, or any exercise that you enjoy … make the first thing you do in the morning a physical activity. The health benefits are obvious, but you’ll also find that early-morning exercise will lift your mood for the day.
The client who asked me about compartmentalising, already has a good handle on his mornings with walking his child to school and then walking or running home. The happy hormones do like physical action!
Step 6: Relax before bedtime
Make sure there’s a relaxation compartment in the evening. In this time slot, you should do something that truly helps you unwind and relax before going to sleep.
For most people, especially those who live alone, the evenings and the nights can be a bigger challenge. There’s a tendency to watch TV until late and then begin worrying anyway. So, if you have something absorbing that you like to do and that is not work or laptop-related, do that. It could be cooking for the next day, playing some music and singing along, or reading a story to the children…. If you don’t have children, practice your story-telling, record short children’s stories on your phone, and forward them to an overwhelmed mom or dad. You may help that parent in getting some relaxation time of their own! We usually begin to feel more positive about our life when we do something out of our free will that helps others.
Step 7: Express gratitude
Before going to sleep, say a gratitude prayer and try to ‘let go’.
As you start out on these steps you may need to convince yourself to only focus on what is in a particular compartment during the time you allot to it. Treat this as a learning curve. It’ll take some practice and you may have to remind yourself: ‘This is my hour dedicated to (for instance) budgeting; nothing else!’ Compartmentalising will get easier and easier with time.
I wish you great success in following these 7 steps to overcoming the overwhelm of daily life! I’d love to hear how you’re doing. Please let me know.